My 15 favourite feelings

So I've just watched a video by Charlieissocoollike who was ispired by a video by Hank Green. Basically they spoke about their 15 favourite feelings.
As I've neclegted this blog, AGAIN , I thought why not joining the bandwagon?

1. Coming Home. Whether it's just from work/uni or a holiday (although this can be sometimes a bit sad.. cause it's over) I like coming home and the instant feeling of comfort.

2. When my hamster had a snuggle with me (R.I.P Freddie)

3. Having completed a workout. I don't really like working out, but decided to get healthier and having done something you didn't look forward to is really pleasing. Generally having accomplished something.

4. Laying in bed. Enough said :-)

5. Getting excited for a trip with my friends. Weeks of planning and imagining how cool it is going to be. Just great.

6. When a band starts to play your favourite song and you sing your heart out to it.

7. Being silly around my friends. When I can just be myself and say the most tupid thing knowing they still like me.

8. Hugsfrom my best friends

9. When you're out with friends and your song gets played. And everybody is just like:

10. Having done all your tasks.

11. Getting in comfy clothes and watching TV

12.When a new great album comes out which you've anticipated for a LONG time (I'm talking about you One Night Only!!!)

13.Arriving in London

14. Talking about problems with people you love and suddenly you realise it is not too bad because you've got your friends/family

15. Having a fit of laughter

There you have it: 15 of my favourite feelings.

Everything Everything: Get to Heaven (Deluxe) - First listening

YAY to Germany for having music released on a friday. That means that I can have a listen to Get to Heaven 3 full days before the worl wide release! Sorry if I'm such a teaser.

That being said, GTH is one of the albums I've anticipated the most this year. So my expectations are quite huge but let's be honest: I won't be impartial on this -hey, they are one of my all time favourite bands. And I am not a music journalist, so I don't have to try to be dispassionate.It's just me rambling on in a completely non professional way, while listening to the album for the first time ever, well most parts of it. And sorry in advance to Everything Everything and every expert if I should write something that makes you cringe like: 'i like the synths on this one' and in fact it's distorted guitars, or stuff like that. Sorry!

Let the fun begin:

To The Blade
Oh I really like the beginning of this song: the melody is beautiful and really nice move that there is just Jonathan's voice and a bit of synths(?!) far in the background. The chorous kicks in with heavy bass and guitars and strong drums. I like that, very rhythmic I'd say. Can't explain it in a better way, but that's one of those songs where everybody goes with their upper body and heads (not headbanging though) back and forth to the rythm of the music. Now the song gains more speed and there is the "EE-Guitar". And what I got from the lyrics very strong! (But then again, don't they most of the time have strong ones?) (There is much more going on I just can't explain it ;) )Very nice start to the album, it definitely gets a thumbs up from me.

Distant Past
Not a first listen. The single is out for a while. It's been written about quite a lot so I don't feel there's much explanation needed. This one grew on me, had to listen to this rave-y song a few times.

Get To Heaven
Quirky beginning. oooh there's whisteling! Who doesn't love a bit of whisteling?! Brilliant Pop. Sorry  too busy dancing. Instant ear worm. can see a lot of people who weren't into Everything Everything before fall in love with this song. Listened to this sone only once before as they played in at a festival last week (already loved it there!)  and I didn't searched it on youtube afterwards as I wanted to wait for the album : But out of a sudden 4 days later I woke up and was humming the melody. So potentially one of my faves of the whole album.

Regret
Not a first listen again, prefered it to Distant Past. To me it has something longoing in the melody of the chorus (might be upper nonsense sorry for that) and the transition between verse which is completely different, there is much more focus on the drums (maybe one could say straight forward with the 'regret, regret' s from Alex and Jeremy) is genius. And that was actually one of my first thoughts about Regret. Tweeted about it when it first aired on the radio.

Spring/ Sun /Water /Dread
Drums are the focus in the beginning. Are those the guitars that sound like synths?! are lovely I'm basically bobbing around.Again I can see a lot of people likeing it.A festival favourite. Very "summer-y " melody wise. I like the sprechgesang (is that really English, not sure...) or paraphrased singing. Lyrics again very interesting from what I got, jeez it's difficult sometimes to decipher. But from what I get: I think it's great that there's such a contrast between a "happy, care-free" feeling from the music to the serious lyrics. I have the feeling you don't get that very often anymore.
 
The Wheel (Is Turning Now) 

Much heavier start to the song but it kind of opens up as it goes along. The bridge is more ambient (hope that's the right translation)/atmospheric with drums (might me from a drum machiene?) and and layers of sounds. Oh ha wasn't just a bridge it was leading towards the end of the song. Nice turn. Can't say much about the lyrics again, I don't get everything from the first listen. But from what I get lots of imagery and rather gloomy? (Sorry again if that is completely wrong)

Fortune 500
Synths and Drums in the beginning. At the beginning the singing reminds me of a choir with this slightly echo-y  effect and the background vocals. Delicate melody.  The beat pushes forward.
,Who else could get away with a line like "my twin my twin, my dragon twin?" As far as I get it: It's about doing things you don't really understand but you have to do it, in a marionett like way. Maybe being a bit brainwashed and numb and  detached ? I really like it a lot.

Blast Doors
Reminds me more of the Man Alive era than the other songs. Nice! Is that more of a R'nB feeling to the chorus? (I begin to wonder why I write this as I don't feel I am in any way qualified) Definitely clever lyrics about politics

Zero Pharaoh
Nice bass line right at the start! and drums! The guitar oooh! Yes, that song is a gem. a lot is going on there.
(see I said I wasn't qulified ;p) And again a song after which I think : yep new favourite!

No Reptiles
The Song with the best line ever written: 'Oh Baby it's alright, it's alright to feel like a fat child in a push chair, old enough to run, old enough to fire a gun" But the rest of the lyrics is just massive as well. *swoon*
I just love the beginning with the drummachine(?) , and the singing , the high falsetto and the speed  of the lyrics is amazing. The piano interjection: love them. The wide synths with the drums (and the bass?) underneath (can I put it that way?) are gorgeous.

Warm Healer
Funky beginning. Love the bass line and die guitar which drops in regularly, is insanely good.The synths give this song more of a gentleness. Nice touch with the distorted voice towards the end.
The song somehow reminds me of Duet, but maybe because it's told to a lover (if i got the lyrics right)

Conclusion: I could not decide which is my favourite because, there are quite a few candidates for this spot! But what I can say is: my favourite album of the year by far. And it unlikely that another album will take this spot. The music is more approachable than on the previous albums I'd say. Sorry for my rambling on hope I was not far of the track with my impressions and with what I said.
Thanks for taking the time and I'm off having a listen to the Deluxe part of the album and I am listen to it over and over again.

I love London in pictures

Some people get homesick and I every once in a while get the travel bug. I'd love to see the world in all it's glory at some point in my life, but if I would be allowed to travel just to one country I would probably alway choose England . I'm a proper Anglophile/Britophile.

I like British history, I loooove the British accent. All my favourite bands/artist (present and past) come from the island and I definitely enjoy their food. What?! Also, I am a big Jamie Oliver fan since I was 11 or twelve basically.

I enjoy visiting the South of England as well, but London, it is just fab. It is so buzzing and full of live, but there are a lot of places far off the touristy track. Hidden littel gems.

I've been there quite a few times and it never gets boring there is alway something new to explore. I may write some day about what I think everybody should do/see while in London but for now I thought I'd just post a few of my favourite photos that I have taken in the last year or so of London. Okay maybe a recommendation or two along the pics.

Walking along the Thames when the sun is shining is one of the best things in the world

 If you have some time. Take a boat from one of the piers in the City to Greenwich. You get to see some of the Sights from a different perspective. Try to board the boat on it's first stop so you can take the best seats. Believe me it is really annoying if you've got a stranger's head in each shot :-)

The Tower and the Gherking

My favourite bridge in the world

The Tower Bridge looks so tiny compared to the Shard but none the less it is one of my favourite builings. And you can walk on top of the Bridge. The floor is see-through so maybe it's not everyone's cup of tea

 I took the right picture while having a stroll along the Thames. If you have time I'd definitely would recommend a walk from Shakespear's Globe towards the Houses of Parliament

Facebook "Friends"

I wasn't planning on writing a blogpost today as I have already reached my yearly limit of 2 blogposts. Say Woooot?  

Today I read something annoying on Facebook from an old classmate of mine. She wrote " I've you've got a BMI above 20 don't wear shorts it looks aweful. Thanks"*
Now to the annyoing bit: it wasn't meant as a joke. Usually I would have said that is a dumb joke but she was dead serious. (Stating in the comments and having written other posts along the lines of "I can tell you 100 reasons to be skinny") Let the shitstorm begin. (In which I decided not to participate)

My BMI is above 20. Do I wear shorts? yes! and why the heck not? Did people feel personally attacked? Yes But did I feel personally attacked? No, not really. Did this statement non the less make me feel uncomfortable? Yes.

She has of course has the right to express her opinion but I equally have the right to not agreeing especially if it hurts people and is frankly just a bit silly .

I don't want people in my life who make me feel bad about myself or who just provoke a tiny bit of self-doubt when I shouldn't have this feeling. Not the most body-confident person here. 5 minutes of considering all opportunities I used the unfriend button for the first time of my life.
I have to say I did feel a bit guilty at first. But we have never been close friends nor have I  spoken to this woman in years. Reading the comments, she wasn't minding hurting some of her friends' feelings. So I decided that a facebook "friend" like her is not worth that I feel bad, even if it is just for 5 minutes.

As Miss Taylor Swift already said: Haters gonna hate hate hate hate.
On that note: Shake it off! And use the unfriend button ;-)


*Note: a BMI up to 24.9 is considered as normal weight and as perfectly healty. Below 18 is underweight may indicate an eating disorder.

How I started to give a F*ck and got a chunk more confident in 2 weeks (Tips at the bottom)

I recently had to do a medical clerkship for my studies and I chose to do in the surgical ward of my local hospital. I had done a clerkship there 1.5 years before and honestly it was awful.

At that time I felt like everybody was thinking that I was naive and stupid and genreally not capable of becoming a good physician.And I put myself under pressure and I felt like I failed at quite a lot of tasks. Drawing blood and doing peripheral venous lines , there was a 50-50 chance that it went well or I had to get somebody to help me. The physicians weren't angry or anything but the nurses made snide remarks which didn't help. (not all but 2 or 3. The nurses from another ward were totally lovely though!)
There were other students there as well and although I realised that they needed a couple of attempts, they just weren't asking for help as I was, that wasn't any solace.

Why did I choose to go there again?Probably laziness as I wanted to do something surgical related and that was the nearest hospital. And a small part wanted to proof that I am not a total idiot (98% laziness, 2 % the idiot part)

In the meantime I had done a clerkship in which I had probably the most useful advice: " pretend that it is an emergency and that you are the only person who can do it. It doesn't matter how many attempts you need in drawing blood ect. as long as you get the result!"

So I started on the first day with those wise words in the back of my mind and a different attitude:  I just cared less. I decided to give a fu*k what everybody was thinking of me as long as I tried my very best. If things weren't going the way as I wanted them to go, I would try again. If the doctors treated me like an idiot I would never return there. I'd stay polite towards everybody but wasn't going to take sh't from anyone.

And what happened: suddenly I improved a LOT I mean really a LOT. Not everything was working at first attempt but I politely explained to the patients that I was still learning and was giving my best to make it the most comfortable for them as possible. The patients were really supportive saying that everybody has to learn their profession and that they didn't mind another attempt. Et voilà sometimes I had to try a second time but often the first attempt worked.

I know it is often hard to care less and to stop worrying so much. It took me one year and a half to realise, but i one can manage it, life is so much easier.

What helped me a lot was taking deep breaths and taking my time in preparing everything. I looked twice if I had everything I needed and I didn't rush anything. I tried my best to create a calm environment by having small talk with the patients and explaining them before hand that I might need a second try. It worked wonders.

Stay polite, stay calm and try your best and put to much pressure on yourself. And it is okay to need several attempts.
And that's the story how i got mor confident.

Sidenote how I manipulated my mind/ tips how to stay calm and start the day with a better feeling: I got myself my own tourniquet as a lucky charm and another lucky charm im my bag. That helped a lot. " Nothing can go wrong i've got the lucky charm in my bag :-)" So get yourself a lucky charm (as potterhead: a pocket patronus)
I woke up and said to myself: 'today is a good day' at least twice and repeated that every now and again. Your brain starts eventually thinking that this is a good day.
It works similar if you smile( especially when you look into a mirror) your brain starts thinking you smile because you are happy and puts you in a happy mood.
I applied makeup. That one may sound vain but I normally doesn't do that out of sheer laziness. I applied some powder and a bit of mascara-done. I felt a bit more special a bit more pulled together and more confident.
I listened to some of my favourtie songs on my way to work and had a good sing-along in my car. Nothing better than some awesome music to lift the spirits. Thanks to The Luka State, Everything Everything, One Night Only and the Rifles

Hope that might help.

Took me a while to realise but I am a feminist

I am a feminist. I - am - a -feminist.  Fem-in-ist. Isn't that that hard to write is it?. Then it probably shouldn't be hard to say, should it? Oh well it is quite often harder than it should be. I am quite ashamed that it took me so long  to realise it (but hey I finally got here woob woob), although I've alway believed in equal rights, payment etc. etc for anyone (men, women and anything in between). So here is a personal story which makes me glad feminism still exists.

With Emma Watson and her brilliant speech  about gender equality in front of the UN launching the "He for She" campaign it got me, like anybody else, who has seen her, thinking more about gender equality and feminism. Generally, becoming more aware of it. I  think I have never expierienced a disadvantage or was told I couldn't do anything because of my sex, at least not that I am aware of it ( but I forget quite a lot of things that happened so who knows...). Until a couple of month ago at the beginning of the previous term at University.

I am a med student,  having done 9 of 12 university terms. As you approach the end of your studies it is normal that everybody, including your internship advisors, asks in which profession you are going to go ( i.e surgeon, g.p, anesthesiologist etc.). I personally am not sure yet but I am quite keen on becoming a surgeon (if so hopefully a proper Christina-Yang-badass one). However at the start of this term I had an internship at the university gynaecology clinic. That is most definitely not a speciality which i want to pursue a career in, but the internship had to be done. So when the FEMALE doctor asked me what speciality I wanted to do after my exam and I replied with "Surgery" the first thing she did was say "No". And she did it almost agressively. Well, maybe not "agressive" agressive in the sense that she was about to punch me in the face but she was really convinced..

She then went on: "Don't be stupid, that is not a good profession to have children and it is exhausting, leave it to the men. What are your alternatives?" Excuse you: Who the F**k ever said I wanted to have children??? I don't recall to have ever said I want  to have children, let alone saying this to somebody I have known for just a day!

Frankly, I was shocked, bewildered and angry. I was brought up in the believe that I could become anything that I wanted to, as long as I worked hard enough for it and maybe was talended enough for that job. Never would I have imagined that an educated woman would tell me that being female should stop me from pursuing my dream career. I didn't know that you need a penis to become a surgeon... why didn't anybody else tell me before?! Maybe they need it to hold the lancet.

Let's be honest she was/is stupid. Yeah I think that describes i quite well, I get what she was trying to say but putting it that way it just showed sheer idiocy. If I want to become a surgeon I'll become a surgeon because I CAN. Being female doesn't mean you have to have kids or that you can't do an exhausting job, neither does it mean that YOU have to stay at home if you've got kids. Your partner i as much responsible for the children as you are! (But if you want to stay at home that is completely fine, just don't feel pressured!) Being female (or generally not being male or 'male' enough) should not mean that you get automatically less paid, or that you can't get leading positions in you job. But unfortunately it often is that way.
I am lucky enough to live in a society in which girls and boys are considered as equally worthy, and things like this little encounter are a trifle compared to what girls have to face every day in other parts of the world. But it shows that even in the "developed" world equal doesn't really mean equal. Emma (and all other feminists of course) is right when she says it is time to change that!

Cheers

P.S. Sorry if it doesn't all makes sense it is currently 3 am as I am wreiting but I couldn't sleep until I got this off my chest..
P.P.S. feel free to comment :-)

Bandmembers leaving.

So after another year passing without me having posted anything on this stupid little blog i feel  like writing another entry. Let's be honest nobody is ever going to read this, but I feel a bit strange at the moment for various reasons and thought maybe writing this could help getting a bit of order in my thoughts.

So finally after ca. 3 years of waiting one my absolute favourite bands One Night Only announcedd that they've finished their 3rd studio album and announced back in late July/August that they'd play at a new festival which was going to take place in September. Massive excitement for me and my friends, who we have all been huge fans. Bought tickets, booked hotel, got flights everything set to be a perfect weekend. Two weeks later at (at my birthday-worst timing ever) the festival organisators had to cancel bespoke festival. That was quite a bit of disappointment but anyway, a new single had been announced, which kind of made up for it a bit as it meant there were probably proper shows due to be announced.

And we were right. With the release of their really catchy single "Get around to it " and the maybe even better  B-Sinde "Erase" 4 weeks ago, a one off London show for december was announced. We could not believe it. Strangely we had chosen to spend this weekend in London before we even knew about the concert. Coincidence?! Anyway LUCKY us.
This was better than any festival and the date was just perfect as everybody of my friends could go and not only a fraction like it would have been with the festival.

I can honnestly say that i was well excited and could stop talking about it. I'm in my mid-twenties (or almot) and probably my inner fangirl has never come out so much as in the past 4 weeks. Listening to the fab new songs on repeat obviously included.

But yesterday (13th of October) it was announced that Mark, the guitar player from ONO would leave the band in order to pursue a career other than playing or making music. And I can't say anything else than that I was and still am shocked and sad. Frankly spoken Mark was always my favourite of the 5 (although they are all really nice chaps and so polite and lovely to fans) and maybe that adds a bit more weight to him leaving as if it were somebody else.

I mean I can somehow understand that he has reasons to leave the band, be it an unstable income, personal or health reasons- whatever. But what's really floating around my head is the strange timing. First of all he seemed always the one who was most excited about the new album (which they started recordingd back in 2013 ) giving us updated via twitter. Secondly he moved back to London with Daniel (bass player) in order to make things easier with their music-  this was around April i think. They had a little private release party in which he took part and posted a picture on instagram(which George later just regramed) and 3 weeks later he tells his friends he is going to leave the band. I mean. they even started rehearsals. There are photo proofs! (Which is quite a thing for them. Touring back in 2011 they had 2 band practises before playing a sold out show in Cologne. And now they started 2 month before the concert! :-D) This timing is weird, isn't it?!

Another thing which occurs strange to me is the fact hat there was just a band message which was really lovely written but nothing from Mark personally, just on his behalf. I thought it's common that the band members leaving, are writing a comment themselves. Not necessarily giving a reason (Rob and Grant of the Rifles did though) -it's their private decision which the fans have to respect- but 'Mark would like to thank' or 'We'd like to thank you for all the farewells to Mark' just seems a bit odd to me.
Yeah maybe he was scared of the fans's reaction and that's why the others took it on themselves to tell the fans.... who knows ...(well they know obviously)
Don't get me wrong, I don't blame him for anything or mean that he HAS to do such things, just the combination of the timing and the band messages that makes me worry about him. That's all.

I am sorry if that seems a bit harsh, but it's probably just because I am still sad about these news ( I know a bit childish) and I think it makes the future of the band more uncertain which doesn't make me particularly happy either. No more guitar dancing ...I don't mean to offence anyone and especially that's  not in any way an offence towards Mark!

I would love it if Mark played in December - like a proper farewell gig- but that is unlikely to happen. In contrast to my friends I don't even think he will be attending the gig. It would be lovely though - i still got some stuff for him to sign and maybe a last picture? Please?

Anyway sorry about my rant. And Good luck Mark for whatever it is that you are going to tackle next. Hope you still keep up your music, even if it's just for you, and hope you lot stay friends. Maybe see you at one of ONO's next gigs and maybe let us know from time to time that you're still alive  ;-).

That's how ONO is going to be like just George,James, Pob/Daniel and Jack I honnestly thought if somebody is going to leave it would be Jack, simply because the rest moved to London.